KoTango is a global community dedicated to modern relationships, and the culture that surrounds them, brought to you by the authors of international bestseller ‘Sex at Dawn’.
Thank you for jumping in early and helping us make it ship shape for the masses. We are listening to your feedback and making changes every day to improve the site.
Kotango is a hybrid: It’s a social networking site with dating functionality and curated editorial, geared toward intelligent conversation around sexuality and relationships. It picks up where the book ‘Sex at Dawn’ left off, with the question “if our sexuality is —and always has been—an essential element in our humanity and an energy that lends itself to healing and community far more than exploitation or fearful possessiveness, what does that mean for modern relationships?”
You can come here to ask questions, make new friends, connect to local events, and have the kind of conversations you don’t want to broadcast on Facebook or Twitter. Turns out, a lot of people are looking for a sexy, intelligent community without the sleaze and shame typical of many conventional dating or swingers sites.
A note about the name: The Tango is unique because, unlike other dances, it doesn’t have a pre-determined set of steps. We’ve realized that modern relationships are the same. The dance only works if you’re paying attention, listening and responding. The ‘Ko’ connotes community, cooperation and the inter-connected nature of our tribal social web.
Read on for a few words from Christopher Ryan on how the community started...
As I’ve traveled around the world talking about Sex at Dawn these past
two years, I’ve concluded that a large proportion of my audiences were
more interested in meeting each other than in watching me give a Power
Point presentation about prehistoric sex. They knew the place would be
crawling with smart, sexy, open-minded people who felt an affinity with
the core ideas of the book: that our sexuality is—and always has been—an
essential element in our humanity. A Sex at Dawn lecture provided an
excuse, and a filter, that made it easier for our readers to connect with
But other than a Sex at Dawn event, where to meet other people who get
it? People keep writing to us, saying they’d grown weary of web sites for
cheaters, gold-diggers, husband/wife hunters, and tacky exhibitionists. And the #1 complaint
about our book is that we don’t say anything about how to put these ideas into action. Turns
out, a lot of people are looking for community beyond sleaze and shame.
After Sex at Dawn hit the bestseller lists, we were approached by various dating sites asking
us to provide content or consult for them, but we weren’t interested in reinforcing obsolete
patterns of sexual interaction that do nothing to advance the values we discuss in our book. But
when we received an offer to develop our own site, these were our conditions:
1. Like a great bar or cafe, it should be a place to meet interesting people—but much more
than that. It needs to be a place for ongoing conversations (both public and private),
debate, advice, support in working through issues that come up in non-traditional
relationships, and so on.
2. Like a bonobo troop, it needs to be a place where the females feel safe and respected.
No abusive language or behavior will be tolerated.
3. It’ll be SFW. You won’t have to worry about having the page open at work or at home.
Erotic photos and language will be restricted to private communication. Nothing here
will embarrass you with friends or colleagues.
4. We’ll provide opportunities to both online and off. We’ll sponsor regional
events where members can meet in person and build their own networks.
5. And finally, if the site eventually generates profits, a significant portion will go to
making the world a little more accommodating for people like the ones who form this
community. We’ll support women’s health initiatives, bonobo sanctuaries, sustainable
agriculture, and other progressive, sex-positive initiatives—with transparency and the
participation of the community.
The site is by invitation only, as we want to keep the community connected, focused, and
responsible. We’ll be putting together events in areas with high concentrations of members to
help facilitate the direct, personal connections that this community is about. We hope to see
you here, online, as well as in a city near you soon.